Can You Hear Them Doctor
by Screeching Dragon
Summary: The constant stubbornness of the Master just won't let him stay dead.  As sheer boredom sets in, what will he do now?  A little OOC for certain parties, but I promise to try not to stray too far.
1. Departure

-1Authors Note: I do realize that some of these chapters will be short (they looked longer on paper… my unending weakness) but I do hope you will enjoy. As this is my first try at anything of this nature, I hope it will not disappoint.

Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff. I wish I did. I also wish I could go around laughing insanely with the Doctor. But I can't. Aww, well…

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CHAPTER 1: Departure

_Tap-tap-tap-tap_

_Tap-tap-tap-tap_

He was so excruciatingly bored. Maybe he should go stalk the Doctor now? No, he decided. It's not time yet. The former Harold Saxon sighed. He was supposed to be dead. And his Doctor, oh that famous Doctor, mourned him every day.

Insane and evil as the Master is, he still longed to let his old friend, nemesis, lo-- and he cut that thought off right there.

Wishful thinking gets you nowhere.

Rubbing his temples, he resigned himself to the throbbing cacophony in his head for a while longer.

_Tap-tap-tap-tap_

_Tap-tap-tap-tap_

Sighing yet again, he stood. Locating the time-space warp band that he had homemade (a fine irony that he could never go home, he couldn't help but think) and to be damned with waiting. Patient the Master may be, but this regeneration was also young and easily excitable.

Strapping on the machine, he gave a brilliant smile to the mirror. "Just as handsome as always… I need to pay a visit to my Doctor."

_Tap-tap-tap-tap_

_Tap-tap-tap-tap_


	2. The Doctor Will See You Now

-1Authors Note: I don't know too many alien/planet/spacey thing names. So I tried to make up something good? I dunno. Tell me if it sucks, please.

Disclaimer: Same deal. You know I don't own this. So we're good, right?

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CHAPTER 2: The Doctor Will See You Now

Now he DOES get into a lot of trouble, but Doctor is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. …sometimes. Granted, the migration of Klexon didn't go as well as planned (the slime pits of Glafeor were worse than he thought) but he's still alive and in one piece. Mostly.

…missing some of his skin on his right hand. Also, he was covered in muck for a while, but that's not the point.

Getting back on topic here, there were no companions now. No time for the delightfully dumb, smart, brave humans or any other form of intelligence. He still had to keep mourning the Master. At least he got to forgive before the other Timelord died.

A tear came to the Doctor's eyes for a moment. Sure, they may not have ended up on the best of terms, but he had been close to the Master once. Their deadly game of life, death, and conquering the universe spanning all of time and space came to a sudden end. The Master became the ever-triumphant champion.

Standing on the grassy slopes of a planet not yet named in the Alpha B8 system, he reflected on this wholly depressing topic.

So understandably, on this lonely little planet with no forms of life what-so-ever, the Doctor would be surprised when two hands grabbed him from behind and pulled him backwards.

"WHAT!?!"

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And here's the note I didn't stick on the first chapter… please review?


	3. Are You a Zombie

-1Authors… thing. You know already: Ok. I hate sounding formal. So that's why I didn't simply put 'Authors Note' again. I would have been irritated by myself beyond my wildest dreams. This chapter sort of contains a weird inside joke that I'm sure anyone can get. It falls along the lines of: Garden gnomes are evil, evil little men. Anytime I hear a story about how someone had a bad dream about an evil little man or a garden gnome, I just have to laugh.

No, that was not really important, I just thought I'd share. Thanks for the reviews though, I'm very flattered! K… time for the other you-know-what-it's-going-to-say-already thing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or any of the things here following.

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CHAPTER 3: Are You a Zombie?

Doctor huffed impatiently from his cage. All he wanted was a day to go off and do a great big load of nothing but sulk, and instead this happens.

He firmly resolved that whoever had let the garden gnome-like creatures have a warp device of any kind needed to be punished. He'd heard they'd been planet hopping for a while, but he'd never seen one in anything but a book. Despite his curiosity, he couldn't help but notice the cavernous cage wasn't that comfortable.

Looking at his cellmate (who'd stowed himself away in a dark corner) he got a familiar prickle at the back of his neck. 'TIMELORD!' it screeched. Doctor scrutinized the shadowy form for a moment longer. It was improbable, but if Master had run away, then maybe others had too? Could have happened, he supposed. The call was intriguing, but if they didn't want to be known, he could wait a few seconds considering the circumstances.

He didn't much relish the thought of being in a zoo.

The small guard peered up at him from under its tall, red, pointy hat. It made an exasperated face at him and turned away. He watched it play with its shovel for a while until the figure (who he was pretty sure was a Timelord) spoke.

"Took my screwdriver, have you still got yours?"

Doctor whirled around to face the speaker, "Master? But how!?! Wh--" Master raised his hand to cut the Doctor off and rolled his eyes, "Have you got your bleeding piece of obsolete machinery with you or not?"

"Where? And more importantly, are you a zombie?" Doctors eyes shone with surprise, laughter, and pure unabashed affection.

"Oh, shove it already! I'm tired of being here, get us OUT."

"Well, as it just so happens, I don't have it, so we're both stuck for now."

The Master shot both the Doctor and the little man an absolutely venomous look. The gnome returned 'the look' by raising its shovel menacingly. Doctor just sighed, "Well, let's get back to the important stuff. You? How?"

The Master just stared at the Doctor as if he should know better.

"Hey, don't give me that, it's not very nice…" Master just continued to stare, "--so if you won't tell me how you're still alive would you mind explaining the huge coincidence of us ending up in the same Gnomish zoo? I'm sure it's your fault." Doctor finished speaking rather firmly, "There are hundreds of zoos, how statistically probable is it for us to be together?"

The former Harold Saxon waved a hand in mock defeat, "Yes, it's my fault. Had to find you again. Built a time hopping device similar to your human Captain friend--"

"Might I add that to do so is illegal?"

"Shove it, I'm talking! Found the Gnomes. Talked them into collecting bipedal life-forms. I told them I was an ambassador for Earth--"

Doctor snorted at that.

"Really, you asked. If you're going to get all pissy, I'll just stop."

"No, no, go on…"

"Thank you. Where was I… oh yes. Ambassador. Told them that there's only one Timelord left and he'd make a great main attraction. So I let them use my device, that one conked you good with his shoved, and then they figured out no 21st century human could build a device of that nature (don't as me how) and ran a body scan on me while I wasn't paying attention. Got me with the shovel too, stole all my stuff, and threw me in here with _you_."

"So you were going to turn me into an exhibit!?!"

"No, they were just going to catch you. I was going to steal you and torture you for a bit."

Doctor smiled wryly, "Thanks for the thought."

"Right you cheeky bastard, lets get out of here."

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Please review!!!


	4. Here Goes

-1Authors' thing: I'd just like to thank everyone that reviewed so far. You've been ever so helpful. Thanks bunches!

Disclaimer: I don't claim any sort of ownership of Doctor Who.

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CHAPTER 4: Here Goes

"I have an idea."

"Yea?"

"We could…"

"Wouldn't work."

"But it would have been brilliant!"

"Your ideas are never convincing enough, and often include a certain yellow fruit. Let me try!"

Doctor sighed, "Fine. Just DON'T kill, hurt, or traumatize anyone."

The quiet hung in the air. The Doctor raised an eyebrow. Finally, the quiet crackling through the room was broken, "Does that include you?"

"I suppose that could be open to loose interpretation if it's not too awful."

The Master beamed, "Fine, fine. Just follow my lead."

The Doctor's victory grin was cut short when the Master grabbed his hair and pulled him to the ground. "NOW HEAR THIS, LITTLE GNOME. Either you open this door, or I kill him and find very inventive ways to use his bones to kill you."

The Gnome stared in shock. The Master stared in apparent angry apprehension. And the Doctor attempted to look up at his old friend, "A bit barbaric, yea?"

The Master rolled his eyes, "Better idea than you had, now be quiet and look helpless."

The Gnome looked confused, but seemed to realize some of his cargo was in danger. It turned around and pressed the button behind him. A screen lowered to reveal another Gnome.

A short series of gestures followed, some too slight for the casual observer to note.

Doctor looked at the Master questioningly, "Are they not able to talk anymore?"

"Ah, no. They can. It's just usually reserved for emergencies. By the way, lets get to work on that look now that they're not paying attention."

"Right. …you can let go of my hair now."

"I could, but it's so good. I like your hair."

Doctor sniffed, "I like my hair too, but it's not the color I wanted."

Upon realizing that they may need two hands to reprogram the lock, the Master finally released his grip. As it turned out, the lock was child's play. …well, for two Timelords anyway.

Slipping unnoticed out of their cell and past the 'armed' guard and gesturing television companion, the bickering duo made their way to the room where their belongings had been stowed.

How'd they know that? The room was labeled Interesting Artifacts. If a screwdriver (laser, sonic, or any other model they might be able to come up with) wasn't interesting, they couldn't tell you what was.

Sure enough, their coats were thrown carelessly on a very short table side by side. Obviously the Gnomes had given up rummaging through the impossible pockets. The sonic screwdriver was on a shelf about as high as the Master's knee. The laser screwdriver, however, remained in the same pocket it was before (most probably because it scared them more).

The ship hadn't taken off yet, and the rest of the escape was fairly straight forward. All they had to do was make sure not to be seen by the numerous crew members. But their eyesight clearly wasn't very good, for most of them had small half moon glasses on. So yes, escape was uneventful, no matter how many times Doctor had to 'conveniently' bump the Master's arm just as he was about to shoot one out of spite.

------Zoo Room------

The Gnome finally ceased waving its arms around madly and turned to see why his captives were so quiet. Both the screen Gnome and guard Gnome were surprised to see the door open and swinging, "Well, shit."

------Planet Surface------

The Doctor and the Master ran wildly away from the ship. Doctor had attempted to pause, commenting on how the ship looked like it was made out of spare parts, but the Master decided he'd rather be away from it when the little men saw they were gone. Three hills away, they finally slowed, "You're not going to blow them up, are you Doctor?"

"No. That's your way of doing things. It's your fault for meddling," they slowed down when they got to the TARDIS, "and what are you going to do now? You left them your device…"

Another pause. Doctor grinned, "Get in."

"Excuse you?"

"I said before I was just going to keep you. Now get. On."

The sound of small feet approaching may have helped the stubborn Master in his decision, "Damn and double damn." But it was said with a smile.

The sound of TARDIS' departure was punctuated by the Doctor's shriek of, "_DON'T PLAY WITH THAT_!!!"


	5. I Call This TARDIS

-1Authors Note: Right. So there may be delay's in chapter updates now and again. Sometimes it's me being lazy, sometimes it's school. But I swear, this thing will keep on trucken'. I'm having fun here, I've never written a chapter story before and I don't feel like stopping quite yet. So writers block and everything aside, I will try to update at least once a week. (However I may have to make some exemptions here and there for school and marching band.)

Also definite out of character warnings from here on out. I'm leaning a bit more to my silly side…

Now with that out of the way, on to the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. Mr. Davis is the man!

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CHAPTER 4: I Call This TARDIS

"Madness."

"Madness? No. This is TARDIS!"

"That's not what I ment-- nice movie reference by the way-- but why are we picking up that… thing. You know it's going to be sooo tempting to kill him."

Doctor tapped his foot impatiently, "Said 'thing' is named Jack Harkness. It's not his fault he's, well, wrong… it's no one's fault. Besides, he wasn't going to kill you."

"He wanted to."

"Jack wouldn't have."

"If you hadn't been there…"

"Still wouldn't have. Jack's a good man… immortal. Thing. Face of Boe to be."

"Can we just… not?"

This had been the conversation for days. Apparently the Doctor thought it would be fun to have his immortal friend along for the ride just to show him the Master wasn't all bad. Said Master was objecting heavily to every point. He just didn't want to be shown off like the Doctor's latest gadget. Also, he rather enjoyed being a pain in the ass.

So every day they'd go through the same routine: Wake up, bicker, land, cause trouble (the Master), fix the trouble caused (the Doctor), get back on the TARDIS, and fight some more before bed. It was all arranged out very nicely, you see.

And honestly, after the Master stopped 'accidentally' breaking, stealing, or misplacing some very important objects, the Doctor found he rather enjoyed the normalcy of it all. …as normal as it got that it. Every now and then, there would be quiet. That's when he knew the drums were beating. The Master would go very ridged and leave the room, tapping the steady rhythm of insanity the whole way.

Doctor mused on that for a moment as he suddenly became aware of the silence. So still. It was so quiet but for the tapping resounding down the halls. The drumming in the Master's head was a disturbing thought for anyone who knew. The Doctor wanted more than anything just to help, but he didn't have much of an idea what the problem was.

But! But but but but but but but but but… it gave him time to do what he wanted.

Cardiff, 2007

Jack couldn't explain how he knew the Doctor was coming. It was sort of a sixth sense he'd begun to develop in the year that never was. So, it was this sixth sense that had him running like a madman through the streets of Cardiff. 'If the Doctor's back, it means trouble.' That thought was a certainty, what KIND of trouble was a different matter. The 'hello, bad alien, but I've got this!' was always fun. The renegade Timelord bit? He shuddered at the thought.

Even so, he couldn't help but grin at the gangly figure leaning against the old 1950's police box. "What is it today, Doc?"

"Ah, nothing much. The normal sub-paradoxal reality type stuff. Thought we'd check in!"

"We?"

"Erm… well, yes. We. But that can wait for later, can't it?"

Jack smiled ruefully, "With you? I don't think so."

The Doctor let out a long suffering sigh, "Fine. He hasn't come out of his room yet." He opened the TARDIS doors and stepped inside. Jack stared after the retreating form for a few seconds, "He?"

"Yes, he. Oh, you'll love this bit. He hates it when I use his fake name. Can't really imagine why… he picked it after all. Has a good strong sou--"

"Doctor!"

"Alright, alright! Keep your pants on…" the Doctor muttered a while longer about how impatient some people could be before continuing on with the promised 'bit', "Harry! HAROLD SAXON! Get your lazy rum in gear! We've got company!"

A delayed, muffled voice from down the hall told the Doctor that no, he would not get his ass moving, and that he should just find a large object and shove it up his ass.

Jack stared at the Doctor in horror and thinly concealed fury, "NO. How? Why are you letting him stay? Never mind about the how."

"He's a good per--Timelord deep down. I know he is. If he would just relax and let me help him, he'd be so much better! I just…"

"Doc, you're too kind for your own good sometimes. He's killed people! He's killed _me_!"

"And he's standing right here. Hello, Jackie!" The Master grinned broadly as the captain turned to see him. Doctor wasn't surprised by the sudden appearances anymore. It came with nearly a month of living together. Jack, however, did not have the benefit of living with the embodiment of insanity at its best. "Doctor, why the hell do you put up with him?"

The Master scoffed, "I look way better than you! And I'm smarter."

"Now, now. Let's just nip this argument in the bud now, shall we?" The Doctor looked between Jack and the Master rapidly. The Master was clapping like a naughty child on Christmas that had got everything he had wanted, while Jack seemed to be fighting an internal battle. 'Obviously,' the Doctor noted mentally, 'this isn't going exactly to plan.'

Not so easily put out however, he strode over to the controls, "So, where to first?"

The Master wasn't to be beat with an answer by this stupid, wrong, strange thing that Theta had for some insane reason seen fit to haul on board, "Well, I can go off and enslave he universe and you can both go to hell! …no? I thought it was a grand idea…" and pouting like he was the one that invented pouting, sat down on the floor.

Doctor slapped an exasperated hand to his head (he really should have seen that one coming) and turned to Jack. Good ol' Jack. The immortal shrugged his shoulders and decided to try to humor his friend, "How about you pick. You always pick some of the neatest places."

The effect of the answer was instantaneous, "Let's go to Ribos! It's nice on Ribos about this time of year! I haven't been there in ages… I had a rather long scarf then…"

Both the Master and Jack figured they'd had about enough of this one before he'd even got started, "DOCTOR!"

"Right! Sorry! To Ribos!"

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Please review.


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